Orange Road Cone

From: mosspub@rodney.govt.nz [mailto:mosspub@rodney.govt.nz]
Sent: Saturday, 29 May 2010 9:53 a.m.
To: customerservice
Subject: Contact Us Enquiry
New Contact Us Enquiry
Name: Ross Miller
Email: ross.miller@paradise.net.nz
Comments:
May the residents of Willjames Avenue, Algies Bay, have a new orange road cone at the intersection of Willjames and Alexander? The old one, which has been guarding an unfinished hole in the road temporarily filled with gravel for several months now, and has become an old friend, is getting very weathered and shabby. This brings the whole neighbourhood into disrepute.


From: customerservice
To: ross.miller@paradise.net.nz
Sent: Monday, May 31, 2010 10:14 AM
Subject: RE: Orange Road Cone Enquiry

Good Morning Ross

Thank you for your email.

I have raised a request, CR 664774, for a replacement cone for the hole at the junction of Willjames Avenue and Alexander Road as you have requested.

Regards
Lindsay

Lindsay Powell | Customer Service
p: 09 426 5169 | f: 09 426 0721 | e: customerservice@rodney.govt.nz
Rodney District Council | 50 Centreway Road | Private Bag 500 | Orewa 0946 | New Zealand p: 0800 426 5169 | f: 426 7280 | www.rodney.govt.nz

Please consider the environment before printing this email.


From: Lex Miller
To: Ross Miller
Sent: Monday, May 31, 2010 10:31 PM
Subject: Re: Fw: Orange Road Cone Enquiry

Would it be going to far to raise another request for replacement of the gravel?

Lex


From: J and M-A
To: Lex Miller ; Ross Miller
Sent: Wednesday, June 09, 2010 9:00 PM
Subject: Re: Fw: Orange Road Cone Enquiry

And surely the hole must be due a makeover?

M-A


Ah well, you see, following my email to the Rodney District Council, and the allocation to me of a work number, CR 664774, silence reigned over the land for the space of maybe three days. The shabby orange cone remained. Then, overnight, as it were in a miracle, the cone disappeared and the hole had been filled in, sealed and levelled -- and the place thereof knew it no more.

I would cause a Te Deum to be sung in the local community church, but they wouldn't know what that is.

Much shalom,

Ross

Ross Miller
ross.miller@paradise.net.nz
http://rosssmoment.blogspot.com/



From: customerservice
To: ross.miller@paradise.net.nz
Sent: Thursday, June 17, 2010 3:01 PM
Subject: CR 665009 Cone - Willjames Avenue and Alexander Road

Good Afternoon Ross

A quick email to let you know Downer EDIWorks - Water have advised me as follows: -

" 15-Jun-2010 11:49:50 - - Rodney Water - SN Waiting on hot mix to repair patch. ETR one month. "

Unfortunately I understand the cone hasn't been replaced with a newer one but I hope knowing the patching will be done within the next month is of help.

I will email you again once I am advised the repair has been made.

Regards
Lindsay

Lindsay Powell | Customer Service p: 09 426 5169 | f: 09 426 0721 | e: customerservice@rodney.govt.nz

Rodney District Council | 50 Centreway Road | Private Bag 500 | Orewa 0946 | New Zealand p: 0800 426 5169 | f: 426 7280 | www.rodney.govt.nz
Please consider the environment before printing this email.


20.06.10
Lindsay...

How good of you to keep me posted. Silly me, I thought the job was done. Evidently not.

Now I am alarmed to learn that it takes your contractors one month to acquire one square metre of hot mix. Is this one reason it has taken so far over 2 years to complete the fix up of State Highway One at Warkworth? If someone sends me the recipe, I could probably have it ready and waiting "in situ" as it were, when the blokes arrive. Say on Tuesday. I could do this at cost plus 10%.

And as you point out, we now don't have even one grubby orange road cone. It has gone. We now have none. So I rely on your assurance alone that progress is being made. So much of our lives consists in going forward in hope and trust.

Sincerely,

Ross Miller
ross.miller@paradise.net.nz
http://rosssmoment.blogspot.com/

At this point, typically in serious but complex discussions with public officials, people start to lose the plot. This chap now thinks someone stole the cone. But no -- they took it themselves, the RDC. We begin steadily to move into some parallel universe. It may still be fun, but you can forget about anything like the original topic.


Hello Ross

Thank you for letting us know the cone has gone missing. I have spoken to the contractors and requested a replacement be put in place as soon as possible.

The reason for the delay in patching, I am advised, is because it is more cost effective to make the repair when there are several jobs in the area requiring to be reinstated rather
than the maintenance team making separate journeys to individual locations through out Rodney.

Regards,

Lindsay Powell

Customer Service p: 09 426 5169 | 0800 4265169 | f : 09 426 0721 | e customerservice@rodney.govt.nz
Rodney District Council | 50 Centreway Road | Private Bag 500 | Orewa 0946 | New Zealand p: 0800 426 5169 | f: 426 7280 | www.rodney.govt.nz
P Please consider the environment before printing this email.


Greetings Lindsay,

Willjames will rejoice at the advent of a new orange cone. It will lift everyone's spirits, as we await the final resolution of the hole in the road issue, hot mix and all.

It is of course reassuring to be reminded that your contractors store up jobs to be done in a particular area for reasons of time and other efficiencies. This is as it should be. Perhaps then we can expect, when the contractors venture into this area to fix the mix in Willjames, they will attend also to the small tasks along the walkway at Snells Beach. For many weeks now we have had iridescent pink markings from a spray paint can along the route, indicating to the simple minds of us locals that some trimming and repairing of concrete and edging is being planned around the council table. Indeed, more recently, these markings were renewed and refreshed, this time in dual colours, iridescent pink, and orange. Doubtless the colours denote different things to be done. We are in awe at this evidence of detailed and thoughtful planning. And we await what it all promises, the trimming of the concrete and the verges.

There you are, sitting at your desk co-ordinating all these things for us. Thank you again,

From your grateful ratepayers and employers...

Ross Miller


25.06.10

Good Morning Ross

I am advised by Downer EDI Work - Water, they have now reinstated the carriageway at the junction of Willjames Avenue and Alexander Road and trust it is satisfactory.

Regards
Lindsay

I too am a happily grumpy old man

This is a revised list. On seeing the first list, my brother emailed me to tell me not to be so censorious. But there are certain realities of old age, among them that, having lived a little, one has likes and dislikes. I am happily grumpy. It seems to be my default mode. I can envisage a happy state in which people generally set aside their egos and behave courteously. The list may be added to as time goes by.

People who think it necessary to censor, conceal, re-write, lie about or sanitise their family histories for their descendants and others.

Anglicans and other church luminaries who in the 21st century insist on poncing around in grotesque gear.

The noise that now passes for music. Why can no one write a decent tune any more?

Apologies that are more about adjusting other people’s feelings than about any true sorrow or amendment of life.

Corporate criminals who avoid any real consequences for their actions.

Silly, banal, unnecessary, unpleasant and sad swearing.

People who call me mate when I am not their mate. People I have never met before who call me Ross. People who say no problem. People who say have a good day. All these people are assuming things I will decide. People who address my wife and me as you guys.

People with no inner resources to manage boredom.

People unable to cook themselves a meal. Finicky eaters. Compulsive vegetarians. People with no sense of good food someone has thought about and prepared for them.

People who phone at dinner-time, or any time, wanting to sell me something.

People who never listen to Bach. People who don’t know who Bach is, as though it doesn’t matter.

People who enter a room talking to everyone, or worse, try to make some kind of Entrance, irrespective of, or not even bothering to know, what they may be interrupting.

People who interrupt a conversation to start up another one of their own. All people who interrupt. Radio interviewers incapable of letting their interviewees complete a sentence.

Pre-dinner drinkies. Cocktail parties, and all such mindless, banal, pointless, tiring occasions.

Stream-of-consciousness conversation which passes for intelligent communication. People who routinely respond to every statement in the first person, talking only about themselves.

Journalists, columnists who write only about what happened to them and how they felt about it.

Wine columns, wine correspondents, wine experts, Masters of Wine, anyone who thinks that wine is anything more than an expensive medium for alcohol, wine bores, wine tasting, wine bars.

Bony chests and low necklines. Silly drunken women at race days, wearing silly hats and displaying bony knees, and staggering around in high heels. The mindless unfunny drunken males who seem to accompany them.

Tattoos, piercings and all forms of body mutilation.

Blokes who think it’s appropriate to enter restaurants, cafes, shops, supermarkets, in smelly singlet and shorts, hairy legs and grubby bare feet with or without jandals.

Baseball caps, especially worn sideways or back-to-front, as though these people think their heads have been installed the wrong way round.

Motor racing and all petrol-heads.

People who can’t spell and don’t think it matters, people with no concern for grammar and logic.

Sports fanatics -- as though any of that actually matters...

Anyone who says, “What you’ve got to realise is...”

Luridly painted toenails. The current female trend for long straggly unkempt hair with all the life dyed or bleached out of it -- what we used to call dull, lifeless hair.

Dog lovers. People who let their pets live inside, feed inside, smell inside. People who think I ought to be charmed with their bloody pets.

Pseudo-sophisticates, usually female, who say O my God!

Mindless adjectives such as sexy, funky.

Racists. People unable to live happily with different cultures in the community, different habits, different languages, different customs and values – ie, in the real world. People who assume the best society is some extension of themselves.
Gated housing developments, and the assumption that anyone who seems to be different is not an acceptable neighbour.

(Usually) American women expressing surprise or some other emotion with their mouths wide open.

Utter dishonesty in funeral orations. The usual range of lies following a violent tragedy... he died doing what he loved, he would never have hurt a fly, he was a gentle giant... It was a quiet cul-de-sac where nothing ever happened...

Pseudo-concepts such as “closure”.

People who “want answers”, as though they would understand them if they got them.

People who can’t sleep because they want “heads to roll” – or because the law has deprived them of the right to hit children.

And all of the following...

At the end of the day
Fairly unique. (Huh…?)
I personally
At this moment in time
With all due respect
Unbeknownst
To be perfectly honest, candid, frank… (Was he not before?)
Absolutely… fantastic… incredible…
It's a nightmare
Shouldn't of
24/7
It's not rocket science
In any way, shape or form
But look…
Basically… Obviously…
Mayhem, carnage (when it’s not)
Turning 1-syllable words into 2-syllable: grow-en, unknow-en
Anythink
From here on in
Going forward
Heading into negative/positive territory
For free
Accenting prepositions, as in: We now go to our correspondent IN Wellington, who is ON the scene…