Marriage

Marriage is between a man and a woman.  It is not compulsory.  No one has to get married. 

It is between a man and a woman because human physiology says so.  That is how it seems to me.

A sexual relationship between two men or two women is perfectly alright with me, if that is their choice, but it is not marriage.  I do not understand why anyone wants to call it marriage. 

Commitment, in the sense of stability and permanence, ought to apply to marriage.  But it never has in practice.  “Till death do us part” has always been contingent and negotiable, and this has provided a humane solution in some cases.  If people want commitment in any sense of permanency, whether in heterosexual or homosexual relationships, it is entirely up to them.  Calling it marriage doesn’t change anything. 

Marriage as an institution seems to me now to have become a lost cause.  I can think of couples I married who remain together in love and happiness.  I think also of those who do not.  I officiated at the weddings of people whose relationships were hopeless from the outset.  Why…?  Because all that mattered at the time was the Wedding, the Bride, the Day, the Event.  It was cultural suffocation.  And that eloquently expressed their attitude to life and to each other.  It is a façade.  Reality comes later.

Marriage is something very special, and different.  It is a bonding to each other, man and woman, and the couple seek that it is known and blessed by God.  The bond expects to be tested and tried, but is held by God.  It is a humble and good thing, and it models for children something they will not see in the culture around. 

But as I said, marriage is not compulsory.  Most relationships are not marriage, and that’s OK.  I do not understand why anyone wants to call them that, when they are not. 

Bonds between two men or two women may be entirely admirable, and to be celebrated.

They are not marriage – as it seems to me. 

But I am distressed that saying these things puts me in company with Christian and other fundamentalists who really want to say that all homosexual relationships are sinful.  Certainly I do not believe that.  No one should.